Attitude is the reason,why people have to find out again and again the reason of many things that others do. Humility is the only attitude that do not want to have a reason for everything others do.It tries to understand and explain things, but never nags people.
Humility is the home of God and emotion is the home of human ego.Both do not co exist. A humble person cannot be arrogant or aggressive.When we become humble we surrender ourselves to the supreme being and we get out of our ego at once.
Humility, peace and God are all together one package of the supreme being.If you have one, you have the other.If you lose one you lose all.
What is Nagging?
Some of you may not be knowing it as nagging but practicing it as faultfinding, complaining -every now and then, criticizing , demanding, insisting, pestering or wheedling. Nagging includes many things like –blaming, demeaning, emotional attacking and criticizing altogether.It is an emotional attack of one ego against another.
An inflated ego being always try to command and conquer the world but will be resisted by other ego beings. But any human ego will welcome an embracing from any corner. Embracing insted of conquering is the best tool to move the wheels of social life with success.
It is a wrong focusing that leads to nagging.
When people focus on ,everything,that their spouse or children do, it do not make them happy. The human ego in them, get up to react, making the situation miserable for both sides.Nagging is a form of pestering, or reminding an individual of a previously discussed dictate or advice. Usually It happens from a perspective of superiority in the relationship or as a helpless cry from a suppressed victim in the relationship.
It’s not, that what you say but, how you say it, make the bad outcome. The emotion is the deciding factor. A mild tone or another words could have a positive impact from nagging.
Every body hate to be nagged, including those who do it. Both the “I” and “you”hate it. So why do “we” do it? And, more important, how can we stop it?
Mostly we do it on people,we care and are immensely close. We nag only people, whom we love and care. This is a reason why people try to “change others into a person they want to be “like them”.
When we nag some body, what is the motive ?. We call their attention to something that has been already discussed or communicated as clear.Instead, it has not been kept in deed.
The nagger`s point of view is that “there is a problem” to be blamed that should be shamed by the other side. That is why the emotion gets more loud than any warning.
Maintaining relationships needs a love that makes no choice.
When the ego become possessive, people practice somewhat warped and misguided love.
However, there’s more than a problem with saying something, again and again and again like anything. First,it doesn’t feel like love. Those who nagged feel that they are no more trusted.Most mothers do not let their children to do their schoolwork, done their way. The children want their mother, to keep her meddling mouth shut.
Women, could verbally castrate their husbands, emasculating them and turning them into depressed beings. Mothers, who nag their children, could be destroying a fragile self-esteem, leaving their kids feel inferior and worthless.There is a hidden appeal in most nagging situation -”Why can`t you be like me”. Couple who come to see their differences often try to nag each other back to keep a superiority feeling. Parents do this to children mostly on grounds of fear that they may not fulfill their expectations.
Possessive love is demanding too.
Those who nag feel it an outcome of their love to the other side.When nagging develops in to a habit,it become aggressive and constant stream of criticism from a frustrated or angry person who cannot be satisfied in any way.This type of nagging will not only prevent, helping the situation to improve, but it is self destructive too. The situation tells that the nagger is in pain and wants to put the other side also in pain.
Individuals who nag are mostly a weak being inside the person,with insecurity feeling and fear on future.Mostly nagging is basically a feeling of weakness and provides the illusion of pretentious strength and superiority for the time being.Nagging could be found in both male and female spouses,usually over different subjects.
The Vicious Cycle of Nagging.
Nagging can become a vicious cycle as the more you nag, the more your mate avoids you or keep distance from you.It could prompt you to do more nagging and it becomes a useless ritual.
Nagging is not a positive approach in any relationship.It could make your spouse feel resentful and defensive.Mostly, Nagging does not make a healthy relationship when it puts one constantly in a parent like role and the other in a child role. Nagging become disrespectful because of the emotion,over reaction, tone and words used.Nagging is often perceived as invalid criticism, when the spouse ignore it as a nuisance. Because probably they feel attacked on their person instead on deeds.
The first step in curbing the nagging cycle, experts say, is to admit that you are stuck in a bad pattern of reforming people. You are fighting with no use wasting your energy. You need to understand what moves the other person, rather than using unwelcome steps of emotional terror.
People who have not yet connected to the domain of peace, find it difficult to get out of their own emotional domain. The life itself is a vicious cycle when people are only emotional beings .